#1 Most Effective Strategy to Tackle Tough Toddler Behaviors
Did you know that counting backward can actually help you conquer difficult toddler behaviors?
It sounds strange, but it’s true! Learn how this surprising technique can help you tackle tough toddler behaviors and make a difference in your parenting journey.
Oh, the highs and lows of toddlerhood! Yes, we’ve all heard about the “terrible twos” and the challenging toddler behaviors that come with the transition from infancy to childhood.
If you are on the toddler behaviors struggle bus, I hope to offer you a different perspective and a tip that is a game-changer.
First, Let’s Talk Toddlers: Personally, I absolutely love toddlers! I have my doctorate in occupational therapy and for many years worked as an early intervention provider.
Early intervention provides therapy services to kids from birth to 3 years old who experience a developmental challenge or delay. That’s right,
I made the conscious choice and effort to work with toddlers every day! Now, I have a smart, strong-willed, sweet toddler of my own, and I’m completely obsessed with her.
Toddlerhood is a time of transition for our littles that can be tough and lead to some unwanted toddler behaviors.
They are transitioning from being an infant, where they are still an extension of their parents, to a unique, authentic self with their own opinions and the ability to make choices and agree or disagree.
This is so powerful for them which is why toddlers want to be in control. The challenge is that the higher areas of the brain that are responsible for things such as logic, reason, time, and reflection haven’t developed yet. They are driven by emotions and move quickly through the highs and lows.
#1 MOST EFFECTIVE STRATEGY TO TACKLE TOUGH TODDLER BEHAVIORS
Here’s the good news. There are several strategies that can make life with a toddler and those tough toddler behaviors less challenging and more enjoyable. My favorite one, and the one I find most effective, is “5, 4, 3, 2, 1 all done”
Yes, counting can be a proactive strategy that is easy to implement in different situations that decreases negative toddler behaviors. I have found this extremely helpful when working with toddlers and families as well as parenting my own.
It’s so simple: All you do is count backward from 5 to 1 then say all done. “5, 4, 3, 2, 1, all done” Do this consistently in challenging moments that you know ahead of time your toddler will not like. The most important thing is repetition and consistency.
LIST OF ACTIVITIES WHERE I USE THIS STRATEGY WITH MY TODDLER
- Teeth brushing (We started at 5 now we count down from 10 slowly. Once they understand the strategy you can increase the time)
- Hand washing
- Rinsing soap out of her hair
- Diaper changes
- Waiting for Mom (waiting is SO HARD)!
- Getting dressed
- Brushing hair
- Trimming nails
- Cleaning up
- During vaccinations (this doesn’t help while she gets her shots but when I say “all done” she knows I mean it and is able to relax)
Why it works: Sometimes we forget that toddlers have absolutely no sense of TIME and they live in the present. This is hard for us to remember because it often seems like our lives are run by our schedules and we are constantly thinking about the next task we must accomplish.
For our toddlers, all that exists is the NOW. Why is this important to understand? When something they don’t like is happening, they are not thinking that it’ll be over soon.
They think that it might last forever. This sounds ridiculous, but remember, our toddlers aren’t thinking logically yet. All they are thinking is I don’t like this, and the only thing that exists is the now.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to my toddler “If you stop wiggling and squirming, I can change your diaper in less than 30 seconds”. She doesn’t care! She doesn’t know what 30 seconds means. All she’s thinking is no diaper, and I must play NOW!
So, by counting down and saying out loud “5, 4, 3, 2, 1, all done” during a nonpreferred activity you are starting to teach your toddler about time and communicating that this will be over soon.
Things to remember: This is a strategy you have to teach your child. It doesn’t work the first, second, or even the third time.
But if you are consistent and use it a few times a day, your toddler will pick it up and these nonpreferred tasks that you have to do will get easier and the tough toddler behaviors will begin to deminish. Remember, repetition and consistency are needed.
IMPORTANT: The most important thing you need to remember is that when you get to “all done” you have to stop the activity immediately. If you need more time, then drag out the numbers “5, 4, 3…2…1…..all done,” but as soon as you say “all done,” you have to stop.
If you don’t, then your toddler won’t trust you, and this strategy will never work. You have to mean what you say to your toddlers, or you will stay on the toddler struggle bus.
Parenting toddlers and toddler behaviors is hard, but it can also be an absolute blast! This strategy can help make those tough times a little easier.